So here is an update on the latest:
At 21 weeks we
had our ultrasound where they check all the measurements of the baby and
make sure everything is functioning and is placed properly. They also
check gender if you are interested, but we had already found out that we
were expecting little Ethan a couple of weeks before due to his heart
beat not showing up on the Doppler. (little stinker, gave me a real
fright!) So we were just excited to be able to see our little boy up
close and personal and to make sure all was well. As the doctor moved
through all the measurements, he stated that all looked normal and
healthy, and exactly on schedule. There was just a couple of minor
concerns. We found two cysts in little Ethan's brain. My doctor said
that this was extremely normal, and that they usually disappear long
before the baby is even born. But rarely, it can indicate a serious
disease. But almost always, if they have this disease, they would have a
great many other abnormalities that would be present in the ultrasound,
which there were none. But just to be safe, he wanted to send me to a
Periantologist at Utah Valley Regional to get his opinion. He told me
that I really shouldn't worry at all, however. He also pointed out that I
have two placentas, which is rare, and that one of them looked like it
was covering my cervix, (placenta previa) but that he believed that it
had a good amount of time left for it to migrate up away from my cervix,
so he told me to not worry about that just yet, and that we would check
it again as we got closer to delivery.
We left feeling
a bit worried, but I felt nothing but peace. I knew that no matter
what, we would all be ok. I felt that the baby would be healthy, and
after a Priesthood blessing, my feelings were confirmed. I only had to
wait a week to see the specialist, so I didn't think of it much.
Tuesday
came, and Scott was able to come with me, which I was so grateful. The
Ultrasound Tech performed the ultrasound first, and made a ton of notes.
I loved how she explained everything she saw and why she was checking
it. What a cool job. She pointed out that there was a concern with the
placentas, but that the Perientologist would be in shortly to take a
look. We found the cysts and she measured them. Then they Doctor came
in. He did pretty much everything the Tech did. He looked at the cysts,
and told us everything about the disease, and how in looking at all the
rest of his stats, there is no reason why we should worry. He said that
these cysts are more than likely normal. That was a relief. Then I asked
him about my two placentas, and whether that would pose a problem. This
is where the appointment took a turn for the worse.
He
explained that with Placenta Previa, the placenta is covering the
cervix. But in my case, instead of the actual placenta covering it, it
is actually blood vessels coming from the placenta connecting to the
other one on the other side, and thereby blocking the cervix. This
condition is much worse, because if anything were to cause a tear or
rupture in these blood vessels, the baby would bleed out very quickly.
Things that can cause this to happen are my water breaking, too much
weight from the uterus, any kind of force outside or in. This can be
unpredictable, and in 75% of cases where it is not detected, the baby
will die at or before birth. But the good news is that we detected it,
so now we can formulate a plan that will more than likely save the baby.
The
plan is, that November 13th when I am at 28 weeks we will be going in
for another ultrasound to double check and make sure everything is the
same, which my doctor says will more than likely be the case. From
there, we will discuss all the details, but the plan is that I will be
admitted to the hospital at 30 weeks, which will be the week after
Thanksgiving, and stay there for 5 weeks, at which time they will take
the baby 5 weeks early (about January 2nd) via c section to avoid me
ever getting too far along that the vein would rupture. The risk of
having a preemie is much lower than to wait till I am full term. So this
is what we are planning on. This will mean I will spend the entire
Christmas season in the hospital. This was quite disheartening, and
quite a lot to take in. First of all, the concern for the baby was high.
But also to miss Carson's Christmas, all of the activities we do and
celebrations with family...I'll miss all of that. It broke my heart. But
at the same time, I also have this overwhelming feeling of calmness and
peace. What a blessing! I know me, and I know that typically this would
have sent me over the edge, but for some reason I have been blessed to
not be afraid. I believe a lot of it has to do with the trials I have
experienced this year, which were almost more than I could bear. But I
was strengthened. My testimony didn't increase, it matured. Faith that I
never experienced was formed, from the ground up, through many paths of resistance. I discovered a strength in me, in my spirit. My spirit self
was in charge, not my carnal mind that is full of doubts and
weaknesses. I had to let everything go in order to overcome the greatest
darkness. That is why we are here, so that God will know whether, in
that moment of utter despair and darkness, when we have nothing left, we
choose Him over the adversary. That we choose the light, and not give up
in the darkness. That is our ultimate test, the reason he sent us here.
The important thing to remember is that He never leaves us. We leave
Him. He is just waiting, wishing, praying and hoping we will accept that
He is the only way we can make it through even the thickest of hell. He
will carry us, but we have to allow Him. I know that no matter what
this life gives me, no matter what I experience, however wonderful or
terrible, He will help me through. He will never leave me. All I have to
do is put my TRUST and FAITH in Him. It's easier said than done, and
it's something we must learn continually throughout our lives, and I
know I am learning. I can do all through Him.
I am so
grateful we had General Conference. what a wonderful weekend. It's
amazing for me to consider where I was in my life and in my mind and
spirit just 6 months ago. I had just had my miscarriage, and it was my
birthday. I was so lost and bitter and hurt and depressed. I am amazed
at how far I have come since then, and so grateful. Trials truly bless
and strengthen us in the end, if we allow them.
Fall is
here, and I am going to enjoy every minute of it! If I have to miss
Christmas, I will have one heck of an Autumn! I love this time of year,
and have truly enjoyed taking Carson to Cornbelly's twice, and going for
a couple of drives through the Alpine Loop. I am anxious excited for
Halloween and for Carson's costume. He's gonna be Superman, wearing a
cape that his Oma made for his Uncle Chris when he was little. He looks
adorable in it! Next is getting the boys room all painted and ready
before I go in to the hospital. It's going to be so cute, if I can
actually do it. Scott is leaving on a few business trips this month, so I
am hoping all will be well without him, and I've just gotta stay busy
so I won't get too lonely. So that is basically what is new in our
little world, and I intend to keep y'all updated throughout the rest of
this pregnancy. Thank you for your prayers and support. It has meant
more than you could know, and I truly have felt the added strength and
blessings.
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