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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

No longer newlyweds, or are we?

So, it has been a year since we said "I do", or rather "yes", unless you are Scott, who combined them both into "Yes I do." What an amazing year. I am surprised at how easy, how hard, how stressful, how exciting, and how educational this past year has been. I am happy to say that we made it through with no permanent scars. I have a deeper appreciation of all those who endeavor to be married. I understand my parents a little more everyday, and I am grateful for them more now then I ever have been. I am sure that gratitude will only increase with time, and especially when we add a little one to the equation. Although I was anxious to have a baby almost a month after we were married, (which I honestly didn't think would happen. Amy, Ashley; you were right!) I am glad Scott had enough patience and firmness to say no to me when he knew it wasn't the right time for us. I say this, because I have been able to learn and grow and mold with Scott. Becoming not just Latissa, but Latissa and Scott. I never knew that the challenge of molding two lives together would be so natural, yet so complex. I love Scott so much deeper and stronger than I did a year ago, when I never thought possible. I appreciate him more. Knowing his faults and weaknesses has strengthened my ability to be more patient and loving, and I am sure he has learned from mine. He is my friend, my confidant, my safe-haven, my literal other half, as if he was made for me. I know that may sound cliche, but it is the truth. I am always telling him that I swear God created him for me; from his unwavering patience with me, to his tolerance when I attack him with a million kisses, to his perfect shoulder that feels so good to lay on, to his beautiful face that absolutely takes my breath away. Building this foundation of Latissa and Scott has come with desire, love, pain, tempers, and our Heavenly Father who has constantly guided me back to him, and has helped us learn to love like he does, even on the smallest level. I know that I could not have come this far without a temple marriage. Knowing that I am sealed forever to this man that I love is the most incredible and inspiring thing that has ever occurred in my life. I know that I need the Lord as a constant guidance in my marriage, and am humbled that I have it.

In the mix and jumble of molding Latissa and Scott together, I fell into the inherited pattern of forgetting about who Latissa is. My mother, who is the most selfless woman I know, is perfect at forgetting about herself, and has taught me it is not a good thing. You need to love yourself, and be the best version of yourself, before you can love others. I hit a point where I needed to refocus, and came up with several things that I am now doing and looking forward to. First off, marriage has put some unwanted pounds on my frame, and I have recently set some goals and am working out at Gold's Gym four days a week with my dear friend Joanna, and so far I am feeling quite accomplished and sore. I am also taking voice lessons again from my wonderful and very talented Grandma West, who could charge me plenty but is doing it for free every Monday. I am happy to sing again. I love music, and have always been in choir, but I hope to perfect my voice someday. I want to write more, and that is one reason I wanted to start this Blog. I used to write poetry all the time in high school easily, but lately I have felt as if there is a wall that I can't get past, and I fail at coming up with anything good as of late. But I will post my favorites on here, and maybe inspiration will come. Last, but most life-altering, would be my decision to go to the Utah College of Massage Therapy next month; taking classes part-time for a year. I will also be working full-time during the day. A month ago I thought this would be impossible to accomplish. I know me; I do not handle stress well. But with a blessing and a prayer, I have found that nothing is impossible for me if I have the Lord on my side. I know he will make me strong enough to accomplish this, and I know this is what I want. I am very at peace with it. I have always wanted to help people, and this will be a perfect way to help even in a small way my family members, especially my mom and mother-in-law. Needless to say, I am excited to start!

Scott is working right now, and hopefully starting an apprenticeship that we will give more details of if everything works out. I will get him to write on here one way or another:) Thanks for reading.